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2020, a transition season

It's August and already this year has been ALOT. I will spare you with going over all the worldly crisis' you already are surely aware of. And while there is upheaval being felt by all on a global level, there is upheaval in my personal life as well. It's like through all the chaos, I have finally become so clear.

Clear that in not making a decision, clear that in not creating necessary boundaries, clear that in spending energy with unhealthy people, I am actively choosing to allow negative situations to continually occur. I am choosing.

Choice. We always have a choice. Sometimes I feel stuck, that all these things are happening to me and I have zero control. But really, I have more control than I realize. I have control, I have choice, over who I spend time with, which books I read, which Netflix shows I watch, what kinds of music and podcasts I listen to. All these influence me greatly, so I need to actively choose inspiration. I have control, I have choice, in allowing myself to stay in negative situations. I can walk away, I can speak up and I can choose what I will or will not tolerate. I can choose to be better than I was yesterday. I can dwell on all the mistakes and shortcomings of the day before, or I can choose to learn and grow and do better today.

For the first time in a long while, I don't feel the need to escape all these tough situations I am dealing with. Escape by pushing away anxious feelings, escape by simply not dealing with things that need to be dealt with, escape by wanting to forget it all while pouring myself a glass of wine.

Escape no more. No, I'm actively choosing to deal with it all. All of it. To do the hard deep inner soul work. I am course-correcting and sitting with it all. I am letting go of getting swept up by drama. I am forgiving. I am creating new boundaries. I am choosing joy, even through very difficult times.

I am choosing. I am clear.

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